RFM’s Guide to Doing Less, Living More, and Feeling Dang Good About It
I used to be the kween of self-care. Think face masks, journaling, crystals, and incense galore.
But now as a junior in college approaching adulthood, with responsibilities tugging at my sleeve, I’ve loosened the reigns on my ideals in order to make more room for what society deems to be important. In doing so, I’ve made the mistake of letting work and school become my life while I’m somewhere in the background just watching it all happen.
With all the pressure I put on myself (and I’m sure you can all relate) to do more and push myself to my limits, I’ve lost a lot of joy that simply comes with living and have put myself and the things that matter to me on a lower rung in my ladder of priorities.
The good news? I realize what I’m doing and have the power and motivation to stop it in its tracks before it consumes me. I recently had a call with a spiritual life coach and upon telling her why I’m so gah-damn stressed all the time she simply asked me why I’m putting all of these things on my plate and reminded me that I am a human being, not a human doing. Hello, YES!
Those words basically smacked my uptight self in the face and reminded me that a large part of why I do everything I do is just to say that I do, you get me? My ego LOVES to proclaim that I am a student working three jobs, managing a student organization and a blog, all while maintaining some sort of fitness level and social life. Reading all of that now makes me cringe because she’s right: WHY?
While my ego relishes in the ability to spit out all of the gazillion things going on in my life, my soul kinda screams for help. It just wants to sit and read and have meaningful conversations with people yet my ego usually wins and my soul and I end up exhausted and needing nourishment.
I’ve let the knowing that I am wholeheartedly, unwaveringly responsible for my reality fall to the wayside in order to satisfy that part of me that craves seemingly impressive achievements. No more! This post is a profession to myself that I will never let this happen again (well, besides once or twice, let’s be realistic) and a realization that I hope some of you can resonate with because in this day and age, this ish is TOO real and if we let it get out of hand and let our egos win, we play a very dangerous game.
While we may think that we need to be constantly going at 100mph and only stop or slow down when we ram into the metaphorical brick wall of burn out, this idea is only a societal construct and I challenge you (and myself) to break it down by doing less, living more, and feeling dang good about it.
Take a good, hard look at your life and take each aspect of it in pieces. Break off a piece each of your social life, work, school, family relations, hobbies/things that make your heart sing, things you have to do, and examine each little bite-sized portion. Write down what’s working, what isn’t working, what you have the power to change, and your plan for making that change.
If work and school rule your life and leave little to no time for friends, family, or those things that make your heart happy, DO LESS. Please. Life is not meant to be spent working our tails off or reciting useless information about the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell. There is SO much more out there for you than that.
We each have a unique talent, voice, and perspective to bring to the world that nobody can do quite the same way as us. Doing anything less than the things that fill us up at home, school, and work is a disservice to ourselves; while, yes, you may get stuck in a class with a professor who makes you cringe or your boss may schedule you 30+ hours a week without asking, you have the power to change it. You can settle for less than you desire, or you can remember that you are the freaking creator of your reality and change that ish. There is so much abundance in this world, more than enough to go around for everyone, but you must believe this and trust in yourself in order to create the life you want.
So if you’re like I was and you’re sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, complaining about all of your self-imposed responsibilities, I challenge you to wake the heck up and ask yourself why you’re staying in this spot. Is it comfort? Fear of change? Laziness? All of the above?
Then, I want you to figure out what can be clipped off. Maybe it’s a job, a friendship, or an extracurricular activity. Maybe nothing really can be clipped off and you just have to prioritize and work to manage your time in order to function happily and efficiently. Regardless, I invite you to play with (and maybe even implement) the idea of doing less in total, but more of what makes you happy. After all, life is too dang short to spend it at a job you hate or with people who make you feel small. Get real with yourself and find what makes you tick; then go do it! I hope y’all are empowered to make your life exactly what you want it to be, because you matter.